diff --git a/provingground/firmware/fw_lab_triage_helper b/provingground/firmware/fw_lab_triage_helper
deleted file mode 100755
index 323f2dd..0000000
--- a/provingground/firmware/fw_lab_triage_helper
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,151 +0,0 @@
-#!/bin/bash
-
-# Copyright 2019 The Chromium OS Authors. All rights reserved.
-# Use of this source code is governed by a BSD-style license that can be
-# found in the LICENSE file.
-
-# Script to aid in maintaining AP/EC/GSC Firmware test enivornment health.
-
-# TODO(kmshelton): Obviate in favor of monitoring and alerting.
-
-# TODO(kmshelton): Support hosts that are in the fw lab, but not in a qual
-# enivornment (i.e. hosts for which this static list of servo ports is not a
-# safe assumption).
-SERVO_PORTS="9901 9902 9903 9904"
-
-find_fw_qual_labstations() {
-  # Labstations outside of the high touch lab (chromeos1) are not in the qual
-  # environment.
-  atest host list --label=pool:$1 --parse \
-    | grep chromeos1- \
-    | cut -f 1 -d \| \
-    | sed 's/host.*/labstation/g' \
-    | sed 's/Host=//g' \
-    | sort \
-    | uniq \
-    | xargs
-}
-
-print_long_message() {
-  message="$(sed 's/[[:space:]]\{2,\}/ /' <<< $1)"
-  message="$(tr -d  '\n' <<< $message)"
-  terminal_columns=$(tput cols)
-  message="$(fold -w ${terminal_columns} -s <<< $message)"
-  printf '%s\n\n' "$message"
-}
-
-main() {
-  local pool
-  while getopts 'p:' OPTION; do
-    case $OPTION in
-      p) pool="$OPTARG"
-        ;;
-      ?) printf "Usage: %s [-p value]\n" ${0##*/} >&2
-        exit 2
-        ;;
-      esac
-  done
-  : ${pool:="faft-cr50"}
-
-  local labstations
-  labstations="$(find_fw_qual_labstations ${pool})"
-
-  WARNING_MESSAGE="This script asssumes many things, like that you have atest in
-    the environment in which it is run, that you have cros in your DNS search
-    path, and that you have configured you environment to use the testing_rsa
-    key on lab DUTs.  This is just a convenience script for firmware qual test
-    environment health triage.  Feel free and encouraged to extend and enhance
-    it, but in the long term, it should be obviated by monitoring and alerting."
-  print_long_message "${WARNING_MESSAGE}"
-
-  LABSTATION_SANITY_CHECK_MESSAGE="Checking that the labstations respond to ping
-    first, because if a labstation is down: you are hosed:"
-  print_long_message "${LABSTATION_SANITY_CHECK_MESSAGE}"
-  fping ${labstations}
-  printf "\n\n"
-
-  LABSTATION_CHECK_MESSAGE="Logging labstation's version, uptime, the last 10
-    eventlog lines, and the update_engine's PID:"
-  print_long_message "${LABSTATION_CHECK_MESSAGE}"
-  for station in ${labstations}; do
-    printf "\nChecking $station\n"
-    ssh -o StrictHostKeyChecking=no root@$station "
-      grep guado_labstation-release /etc/lsb-release;
-      printf \"\n\";
-      uptime;
-      printf \"\n\";
-      mosys eventlog list | tail -n 10;
-      printf \"\n\";
-      pgrep --list-full update_engine;
-      printf \"\n\";"
-  done
-
-  SERVOD_CHECK_MESSAGE="Checking for lines with ERROR in the most recent servod
-    log (the last 4 will be on the labstation, only the most recent one is
-    checked here)."
-  print_long_message "${SERVOD_CHECK_MESSAGE}"
-  for station in ${labstations}; do
-    printf "\nChecking $station\n"
-    ssh -o StrictHostKeyChecking=no root@$station \
-      "grep ERROR /var/log/servod_990*.log";
-  done
-
-  SERVO_CHECK_MESSAGE="Logging servo versions (there's 4 per labsation even if
-    there aren't 4 DUTs).  This should excercise the servo consoles.  If you get
-    connection refused, servod has likely stopped.  If you get a timeout waiting
-    for response, the servo has likely wedged (no console response)."
-  printf "\n"
-  print_long_message "${SERVO_CHECK_MESSAGE}"
-
-  for station in ${labstations}; do
-    printf "\nChecking $station\n"
-    for port in ${SERVO_PORTS}; do
-      ssh -o StrictHostKeyChecking=no root@$station "dut-control -p $port \
-        servo_micro_version; dut-control -p $port servo_v4_version;"
-      done;
-  done
-
-  # TODO(kmshelton): Figure out how to check if the latest build was successful
-  # for all models in the environment, since this is the cause of missing
-  # nightlies sometimes.
-
-  printf "\nGathering kernel and servod logs."
-  logs_dir="$(mktemp -d)"
-  cd $logs_dir
-  printf "\nLogs will be stored in $logs_dir\n"
-  for station in ${labstations}; do
-    mkdir $logs_dir/$station
-    printf "Gathering from ${station}.\n"
-    scp -o StrictHostKeyChecking=no root@$station:/var/log/messages \
-      $logs_dir/$station > /dev/null;
-    scp -o StrictHostKeyChecking=no root@$station:/var/log/servo* \
-      $logs_dir/$station > /dev/null;
-  done
-
-  FAILURE_SIG_MESSAGE="Checking for the failure signature (\"did not claim
-    interface\") of b/110045723:"
-  print_long_message "${FAILURE_SIG_MESSAGE}"
-  for station in ${labstations}; do
-    grep -r "did not claim interface" $logs_dir/$station;
-  done
-
-  printf "Tarring kernel and servo logs.\n\n"
-  tarball="$(mktemp)"
-  tar -cvf $tarball . > /dev/null
-  TARBALL_MESSAGE="There will be a tarball at $tarball.  Attach the tarball to
-    any bugs filed."
-  print_long_message "${TARBALL_MESSAGE}"
-  printf "Returning to original directory.\n\n"
-  cd - > /dev/null
-
-  OVERVIEW_MESSAGE="Logging a high level host overview. DUTs should have a
-    status of \"Ready\", unless there is a KI.  If a DUT is stuck in a repair
-    state, try to figure out why.  If you find yourself repeatedly checking
-    something, extend this script with what you are checking."
-  print_long_message "${OVERVIEW_MESSAGE}"
-  atest host list --label=pool:${pool} --parse \
-    | grep chromeos1- \
-    | cut -f 1,2,4,5,6 -d \|
-}
-
-main "$@"
diff --git a/provingground/firmware/fw_lab_triage_helper.go b/provingground/firmware/fw_lab_triage_helper.go
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..677faec
--- /dev/null
+++ b/provingground/firmware/fw_lab_triage_helper.go
@@ -0,0 +1,133 @@
+// Copyright 2019 The Chromium OS Authors. All rights reserved.
+// Use of this source code is governed by a BSD-style license that can be
+// found in the LICENSE file.
+
+package main
+
+import (
+	"fmt"
+	"log"
+	"os/exec"
+	"reflect"
+	"regexp"
+	"strings"
+)
+
+const labstationTelemetryCmds = "grep guado_labstation-release /etc/lsb-release; " +
+	"printf \"\n\"; " +
+	"uptime; " +
+	"printf \"\n\"; " +
+	"mosys eventlog list | tail -n 10; " +
+	"printf \"\n\"; " +
+	"pgrep --list-full update_engine; " +
+	"printf \"\n\";"
+
+const warningMessage = "This utility asssumes many things, like that you have " +
+	"atest in the environment in which it is run, that you have cros in " +
+	"your DNS search path, and that you have configured your environment to " +
+	"use the testing_rsa key on lab DUTs.  This is just a convenience " +
+	"utility for firmware qual test environment health triage.  Feel free " +
+	"and encouraged to extend and enhance it, but in the long term, it " +
+	"should be mostly obviated by monitoring and alerting."
+
+type dut struct {
+	Hostname, Port, Labstation, Board, Model, Status, LockStatus, LockReason string
+}
+
+func newDut(hostname string) dut {
+	d := dut{Hostname: hostname}
+
+	regexMap := map[string]string{
+		"Port":       `servo_port : (?P<Port>.*)`,
+		"Labstation": `servo_host : (?P<Labstation>.*)`,
+		"Board":      `board:(?P<Board>.*)`,
+		"Model":      `model:(?P<Model>.*)`,
+		"Status":     `Status: (?P<Status>.*)`,
+		"LockStatus": `Locked: (?P<LockStatus>.*)`,
+		"LockReason": `Lock Reason: (?P<LockReason>.*)`,
+	}
+
+	cmd := exec.Command("atest", "host", "stat", hostname)
+	out, _ := cmd.Output()
+
+	for field, re := range regexMap {
+		match := regexp.MustCompile(re).FindStringSubmatch(string(out))
+		// The LockReason field can be empty if the DUT is not locked.
+		if len(match) != 2 && field != "LockReason" {
+			log.Printf("Skipping %s on %s.  This could be ok if a DUT is only partially through the deployment checklist.", field, hostname)
+			continue
+		} else {
+			reflect.ValueOf(&d).Elem().FieldByName(field).SetString(match[1])
+		}
+	}
+
+	return d
+}
+
+func sendSSHCommand(host, remoteCmd string) (outs string, err error) {
+	cmd := exec.Command("ssh", "-o", "StrictHostKeyChecking=no", "root@"+host, remoteCmd)
+	out, err := cmd.Output()
+	outs = string(out)
+	return
+}
+
+func main() {
+	duts := []dut{}
+
+	fmt.Println(warningMessage)
+
+	log.Print("Gathering DUT info via atest...")
+	// TODO(kmshelton): Support arbitrary pools.  Remember to sanitize for chromeos1 (high
+	// touch lab) when adding arbitrary pool support, as we would not want to do operations
+	// like ssh'ing to labstations in the low touch lab.  The current hardcoded pool, it is
+	// safe to assume no low touch lab devices are operated upon.
+	cmd := exec.Command("atest", "host", "list", "--hostnames-only", "--label=pool:faft-cr50")
+	out, err := cmd.Output()
+	if err != nil {
+		log.Fatalf("<atest host list> encountered: %s", err)
+	}
+	hostnames := strings.Fields(string(out))
+
+	for _, hostname := range hostnames {
+		duts = append(duts, newDut(hostname))
+	}
+
+	log.Print("Summarizing DUT info...")
+	// TODO(kmshelton): Use text/tabwriter to make this digestable.
+	for _, dut := range duts {
+		fmt.Printf("%+v\n", dut)
+	}
+
+	log.Print("Gathering and displaying key telemetry for labstations.")
+	// TODO(kmshelton): Do this without keeping two approximately-identical memos.
+	labstations := []string{}
+	labstationsSeen := make(map[string]bool)
+	for _, dut := range duts {
+		if _, ok := labstationsSeen[dut.Labstation]; !ok && dut.Labstation != "" {
+			labstations = append(labstations, dut.Labstation)
+			labstationsSeen[dut.Labstation] = true
+		}
+	}
+
+	// TODO(kmshelton): Migrate to using x/crypto/ssh (here and eleswehere) and handle network errors.
+	for _, labstation := range labstations {
+		fmt.Println("Operating on ", labstation)
+		out, err := sendSSHCommand(labstation, labstationTelemetryCmds)
+		if err != nil {
+			log.Fatalf("Gathering labstation telemetry encountered: %s when interfacing with %s.  Is the labstation pingable?  Do you have lab ssh credentials setup?", err, labstation)
+		}
+		fmt.Println("\n", out)
+	}
+
+	log.Print("Querying servos for their versions (note this depends on the servo consoles being in a functional state): ")
+	for _, dut := range duts {
+		if dut.Labstation == "" || dut.Port == "" {
+			continue
+		}
+		out, err := sendSSHCommand(dut.Labstation, "dut-control -p "+dut.Port+" servo_micro_version; dut-control -p "+dut.Port+" servo_v4_version;")
+		if err != nil {
+			log.Fatalf("Querying servos encountered: %s when interfacing with %s.  Is the labstation pingable?  Do you have lab ssh credentials setup?", err, dut.Labstation)
+		}
+		fmt.Println(dut.Hostname, ": ", out)
+	}
+}